Penny Arcade

They threw the crib door wide in Washington State for vaccines come the 15th, if you want one you can have one, provided you’re over sixteen I think. I got in just under the wire because of the old Asthma commingled with my substantial bulk. For the longest time I wasn’t really aware of the fact that I had fairly significant asthma, just that I preferred Strength to Cardio, at least partially because it was physically possible for me to do the first one without feeling like a black,…

Here’s how it works: if a person comes toward me with a needle, for any reason, my mind becomes decoupled from my body. It floats above, looking down. Thus freed from natural human strictures, and possessed of a wild animal’s desperate desire to live, the body does everything it can to confound and evade any attempt to puncture it. Blood draws are this way, but also the administration of a life-giving - or, at any rate, life retaining - serum, and so when the needle approaches my…

It's a really twisted business model to rob people of the sunset of their lives by goading them with shit they never would have seen otherwise. Grandma doesn't need to know about this shit. She doesn't need to know about demonic sneakers. Unless Lil Nas X drops a sick collab with Dr. Scholls, she's good. I was raised to think of Satan as a real person, so when songs or album covers invoked this kind of imagery and they told me it was all devil worship I believed them -…

League of Legends: Wild Rift is executed to a really high degree. Right now, I can't play that and Monster Hunter so I'm playing Monster Hunter. Not because they didn't do a good job or because I don't have cross-game access to my shit or whatever. It's just literally not possible to do because of how time is dumb. Gabe works on an iPad Pro, so he's probably experiencing something like the optimal experience for the game. It's like a drug made from some other…